Dear Mr. Iron John,
It has come to our attention that you have neglected to file an income tax return with the IRS. At present, your return is three weeks in arrears. If your return is not filed within thirty days, further action shall be taken, up to and including:
Garnishment of wages
$50,000 fine
365 days in a federal penitentuary (366 if a Leap Year)
A date with Chelsea Clinton
Having your toenails removed with icicles
Seizure of all assets (including homes, cars, secret lairs, and comic book collections)
Please acquiesce and no further action will be taken. If this letter has reached you in error, please discard.
Molly Pinkwater, IRS Agent (aka The Man)
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This file will preserve the record of the secret bunker's interactions with the outside world.
1 comment:
Well, whaddaya know, this letter reached me in error. Good thing too, that date with Chelsea Clinton wouldn't go very well, she's still mad over the thing we did to her shampoo while her daddy was in office. I don't think it has quite worn off yet.
Capt. Gin, call those pathetic bean counters over at H&R Block and lodge a complaint, and a warning.
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